Did they forget the next verse?
Saturday, December 22nd, 2007 at 10:19 PM in Character
By Ayesha Siddique
Imagine a group of Muslim boys sitting together on a Friday night at a friend’s place. They’re making plans to go to the local Blockbuster and rent a movie to watch later that evening. The following conversation ensues:
BOne: What do you guys want to watch?
BTwo: Nothing in particular
BThree: Dude, I’ve haven’t seen Transformers yet, do you want to get that?
BOne: Yea, dude! I heard they made Optimus Prime look sick!
BTwo: Who cares about the robot, the girl in that movie has a slamming body. I would watch just for her.
BOne: Haha, so wrong, yet so right!
BThree: But foreal, let’s rent it.
Disgusting, right? How could Muslim boys have no shame and talk about women in such a way? Why aren’t they embarrassed admitting in front of their friends that they don’t lower their gaze, and that they want to watch something solely for the purposes of checking out girls?
Fortunately, I’m under the impression that conversations like this don’t usually happen with practicing Muslim boys. Even if the reality is that they watch movies and don’t mind seeing girls in them, they’re still likely to be embarrassed to openly discuss the “eye-candy” on screen with one another. Because it’s an unspoken understanding that it just isn’t Islamically correct and one should be embarrassed about not having any modest.
Unfortunately, however, I’m under the impression that conversations like this DO happen with practicing Muslim girls. In fact, I’ve heard a conversation similar to this, except in this case it was a debate to watch Troy. One girl made a point that although it was another typically lame action movie, it would be acceptable to just watch it on mute because of Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt, and small leather outfits.
So why do girls think it’s okay to talk this way? Why don’t they have any modesty, or feel any embarrassment about discussing “eye-candy” on screen?
Is it because girls often forget that modesty is not only in dress, or in manners, but it’s also in speech, which includes their voices and what they’re saying?
Or is it because they forget that verse 30 in Surat an’Nur, “Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision…,” is followed by verse 31 that states, “And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision…” ?
Or is it just because there’s a double standard? Most people, Muslim or not, admit that talking about women like they are pieces of meat is generally unacceptable and very “sexist” or “pig-headed.” But hardly ever do you hear anyone complain about the reverse conversations that happen almost everyday between girls. Whether they’re talking about a new co-worker, classmate, lab partner, professor, cashier, actor, etc, girls talk about boys all the time with their friends, and without any modesty at all.
I think it’s time for girls to be more critical of themselves and their friends. If practicing Muslim boys can refrain from this type of talk, then so should practicing girls. After all, the commandments from Allah were sent for both, so they should be followed by both.
May Allah increase us all in our modesty.
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17 Comment(s)
Got something to say? Leave a comment.
It depends on what you define as practicing. I remember going to an apartment of Muslim guys in a university hours away from Chicago. The guys were watching TV, I think it was Holk Hogan’s reality TV show.
The show, which really grossed me out, showcased Hogan’s daughter. One of the guys said, “dude, she’s kinda hot.” Out loud. No shame, nothing. All the guys just kept watching as if it was nothing.
And he was someone who was active in the MSA, reciting Quran at dinners, and brought in speakers for events.
May Allah guide us.
SaqibSaab | Dec 23, 2007 | Reply
A brief but strong message, nice job masha Allah.
AbdelRahman | Dec 25, 2007 | Reply
Cooties seems to be becoming a pandemic. Be sure to get your vaccination today!
Good article masha’Allah.
Asalaamu alaikum
Faiez | Dec 26, 2007 | Reply
Jazka allah khair bro. This becomes a habit after a while. Even with a gathering of brothers and even as a joke it happens all the time and i have witnessed it. May allah guide us all ameen.
youssef | Dec 26, 2007 | Reply
Sometimes Muslims act as if modesty is only necessary if you’re a sister. Modesty is important for everyone. We have such great examples in or history. The Prophet (pbuh) told Uthman (R) that because of his modesty even angels were bashful in front of him.
Asad | Dec 27, 2007 | Reply
whoa, I thought saqib wrote that, then commented to himself…… i r nub
jibs | Dec 29, 2007 | Reply
something else which was noticed is when an ustad/shaykh/teacher is giving a story (serious) and the crowd laughs. Many times its a sad story (such as a Muslim dying while committing sin).
Laughing in such instances totally takes away from the effect and impact of the story. I’m sure the speaker isn’t mentioning it for laughs……..Allahualim
jibs | Dec 29, 2007 | Reply
Practicing Muslim women talk that way?? Disgusting.
br. Ibrahim | Dec 30, 2007 | Reply
From a socio/psychological standpoint, I think there is a big difference between the way a group of men would react to a miniskirt, etc., and the way women would react to a guy wearing shorts. It’s just not the same, not even close.
However, this is no excuse to disobey the commands of Allah SWT, and it doesn’t take away the accountability for doing so.
br. Ibrahim | Dec 30, 2007 | Reply
And I totally agree with Asad. Modesty is not just for women; it’s part of our religion. Many brothers don’t seem to place any importance on this.
br. Ibrahim | Dec 30, 2007 | Reply
Yup, that’s my girl.
May Allah increase you in iman and knowledge and may He make your pen even more powerful (Ameen).
Abu Ayesha | Jan 2, 2008 | Reply
My pen? You mean my keyboard and/or typing speed
Thanks Baba.
Ayesha | Jan 2, 2008 | Reply
that was your dad? cool!!!
oh - and mA on the post btw. it’s sad how true it is.
Sana | Jan 12, 2008 | Reply
in a weird way i think its a way that women try to level with men. in non muslim households (believe me i grew up in one) its supposed to “okay” for the man of the house to say “so and so is good-looking” (indicating a woman on the screen) or to ogle her, etc. that would make any wife feel insecure but since its become so commonplace and acceptable, it really cant be reversed on broad scale. so what women do to make themselves feel better is say and do the same thing regarding men. wife says “oh so and so is good looking” or ogles him. thats supposed to make things “even.” really though women are not as turned on by the sight of these guys. it just makes them feel better that “they do it too.”
seriously.
Olivia | Jan 12, 2008 | Reply
Jazaakumullahu Khairan fa ahsanal jazaa…truly many matters do not hit us…Lord only guides whom He wishes…i never really realized how wah you wrote takes place…
I really doubt the guys would have such a talk, however, I have witnessed many including myself having it viceversa.
We might start off being shy and all buh once someone mentions it, suddenly everyone’s at ease and discussing openly.
May Allahu Tabaarak wa ta’ala give us all the tawfeeq to be conquerers when we face the devil and our lowerselves(aka egos!)…Aameen to all the duas…
ma’assalaam
A Sinful Slave | Nov 17, 2008 | Reply
i just noticed the lapse between the previous comment and mine: jan to nov!!!
A Sinful Slave | Nov 17, 2008 | Reply
there is a huge difference in the way men and women think. women arent as lustful with their thoughts nor would they act upon them, thats not to say they dont, but women generally recognize beauty and there is a difference between "oh so and so is handsome" and "wow daymn did you check her out" …even in speech. obviously the rule applies to both genders, my point is that everyone has a different perspective. and especially in this society its just a norm too, so it appears to weigh less than it would if you were in a gender segregated society. intention also counts, only allah knows in what way you really looked at someone.
even with hollywood figures, actors, singers, etc. like to recognize beauty and chase after it with lustful thoughts is completely different. as was the case with prophet yusuf (as)
Random | Nov 24, 2008 | Reply